How To Disciple Middle Schoolers
It is no secret that the middle school years are tough. Everything, and everyone, is awkward. Middle schoolers long for the freedom and independence of high schoolers, but still need some of the guidance and support of kids. Students are striving to figure out who they are and what their identity is, where they fit in, how friendships work, and how to balance their growing list of responsibilities. Because of this, it is crucial that the church come alongside middle schoolers, and their families, and walk with them towards Christ. A few practical ways to do this are:
- Have a deep understanding of Ephesians 2:10.
Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” As disciplers of middle schoolers, we must help them understand that they are God’s handiwork, created intricately and wonderfully for His glory. Their identity is in Christ their Creator. It is a wonderful gift that we can know our God lovingly created us for a purpose! As the pressures of school and extracurriculars rise throughout middle school, helping students understand where their identity lies is foundational.
- Be transparent.
Everything in the life of a middle schooler feels difficult and like a big deal. They are constantly facing unprecedented challenges. Chances are, because you are their discipler, mentor, or youth leader, they look up to you quite a bit. It is easy for them to think you have it all together as you disciple them. Be honest! Be open about your walk with the Lord, the highs and lows, what has been hard for you, what has been a joy for you, and how your experiences relate to them. They want to know that you are a real person, and that they are not alone in the highs and lows.
- Spend time in small groups.
Middle schoolers love attention– any type they can get. They are longing for deep, meaningful relationships. Spending time with small groups of students is a great way to build those deeper relationships and have more meaningful conversations. Not every interaction has to be a gospel conversation. Some of the time spent together should be for fun, doing things together that the student is interested in, watching them perform or compete in their extracurriculars, and hanging out in a relaxed environment. Having this foundation for your relationship will allow you to eventually have those difficult, and often, convicting gospel conversations that lead to life change. At this point in your relationship, your students will have more trust in you and be more willing to listen carefully to what you have to say.
- Get to know parents.
So much of middle school ministry is walking alongside and helping to equip parents. Just as middle schoolers feel uncomfortable and are trying to figure everything out for the first time, parents often feel the same way. Get to know students along with their parents. When you do go see your students in their activities, sit with their parents and cheer them on together. This will build trust and confidence. Parents want to know that you love and care for their child.
- Pray together… often!
Lastly, let students know frequently that you love them, are proud of them, and that you pray for them. We don’t have all the answers. We can’t make the middle school years, full of navigating relationships and identity, any easier. But we can constantly encourage them through prayer and lift them up. Pray for students when they are with you, let them know that you pray for them by name!
Author: Hannah Rossell is the Middle School Resident at Colonial Heights Baptist Church in Ridgeland, MS.
